Today was a good day. great work, good customers. little tired still today. wonder if it is lack of banana's that I am used to having in the morning, or maybe lack of excercise. mmm. will have to test that out.
Irene was playing on the way home today though, from the bus, so going to have to do something about that. Told Doris that she doesn't have to make sure Irene comes home any more. and told Irene that she is fully responsible if Doris walks away, it will be her job to do her thing or not and it wont be Doris' fault. Lets see what that does.
quick bite, James cooked. good job. didn't even look that stressed, thats even better. head into town for couciling. Got james in to see my free councilor. going to go in together. drop of the kids with his mom and head on over there. have to wait outside a bit, early for the appointment. James seems like he is doing good still, and thats good. The councilor doesn't look to happy that my boyfriend is there, but he kinda said it. so, here he is. we go back up to the office. sit down. We both sit on the couch. I sit at one end of the couch, and James sits right beside me. The councilor jumps right onto asking how things are and getting to know James. Asking about a plan to get better, stating that that is the only way that he will get any where. he asks what his past experiences where from other councilors, explains that psyciatrist are more for meds and that psycologist do more of the counciling part, which confirms what his crisis councilor say. which also explains why I brought James in to see my psycologist. the councilor asks about techniques he has learned and what he does to relax. james can't really remember much, he states self hypnosis, but thats about it and it doesn't always work. ok. the councilor gets up and start to write on the white board. he draws a speedometer and calls it the emotional speedometer. It looked just like a speedometer from your car. he drew on the speeds, from zero to 100. 50 being in the middle, zero being at the bottom left, and 100 being at the bottom right. Zero indicates complete calm. He said you might have to be dead to be that calm. 40 being very calm, that is were you need to be to sleep. 60 is alert. which is were you want to be for a regular normal state. 70 being anxious, but it is ok, 80 being anxious and its not ok, 90 being in panic mode, and having physical indicators, shaking, upset tummy, heart rate increased, breathings increased, tensing of muscles, twitching, diahrea, nausea, vomiting, and 100 being passed out, gone. I look at that and think to my self, shit, I was in the 90-100 mode when I had my first visit?? that seems so crazy, i am not the one with anxiety problems! I have never thought that I have had anxiety, stress sure, but anxiety? I am starting to realize that they seem to go hand in hand. maybe even the same thing. The councilor says that the first step is to monitor then work on calm. He asked if James knew the A B C's of anxiety. no. okay, A is actual event, B is belief, C is Consequence and D is dispute. The councilor explains that most people think it is the a or c that causes the anxiety, but it is always to b. the belief. its not the heights that are scary, its the belief of falling. You must ask yourself, is there any immediate danger? anything life threatening? then you can calm down, or at least ride it out. The councilor then asks about breathing techniques, and if James was taught any. James says not that he can remember. ok. SDS. Slowly, deeply and smoothly. Breath in while counting to 10, do to 10 to get a full breath, and hold it for 3 seconds. then release. The councilor also asks about relaxing techniques. James isn't sure if he has been taught them, he only remembers some self hypnosis, not much of anything else. ok. So the councilor then talks about relaxing muscle groups one at a time. he stands up and puts his hand in the air and says you start here, points to his fingers, and go down. he traces down to his neck. Then go from your head down to your toes. ok. he gets us to try out with our hands. Tense the hands, as hard as you can for seven seconds, then release and relax for 20. then repeat that muscle group, then move on the the next. Both techniques should be done 3-5 times a day. The councilor states that this is all concept, which is small and easy to understand, but doing, is another story. So we are just working on relaxing and monitoring the anxiety right now. It is all on how the brain thinks, the things we tell our self. Its like when you go to australia and you say lets sit in the chair. a what?? a chair"? whats a chair? mmm, that thing over there that you sit on. oh you mean a sit down? and after 20 days, or a bit of time there, you would start to say, why dont we go have a sit down. not a chair. rethinking. Asking, is there imediate death or danger? no, then think it through. The councilor also explains some of the things, how some people's brains are wired a bit different. the imagines and sounds that a person hears normally goes through the grey matter in the brain before going to the emotions section. but for some, it skips that and just goes to the emotions. that is pretty close to what people with anxiety go through. Doens't mean that that is what James goes through for sure, but his fight or flight relfex does happen more often and quicker than the rest of us. an image, or sound, memory can cause James to accelerate into panic mode. which is an emotion. So again james needs to monitor and try to find certain triggers and feelings and not to avoid either though. cause fear feeds fear. then you become scared of the thoughts. not the thing. so lots of homework. Doc wants to know how long we need to do this. he offers one or two weeks. james picks two weeks. I think that is good. I thought that one week would not be enough time for James to make it a bit of a pattern and start to monitor it. So two weeks it is. We reschedule for November 10 at 5. Time to go home and start to work. Lets see how they go!
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