2012.
Its here. Not much has changed though. A little bit has, James is trying to work part time. He is actually working at the same place as my part time job. Right now though, James strongly believes that he won't be able to do more than part time. So three days a week he comes in and does the prep food for the pizza place that we work for. So far so good. It does appear that he is using this as an opportunity to work through some issues while it doesn't matter as much. So maybe in a month or two he can look for something better. He even says that he is enjoying the "working" part which is good. He has made two paychecks now. And I think that was a big reward too. We, for the moment have money. But there is so much that we need, and a small start still makes it seem impossible. I think that he would do just fine, he is still taking care of the house and kids and working as I am still working my full time job and part time and a small, very small home based gel nail too. If he can handle all that, then I think he should be able to work full time so I can quit the part time and help out with the house. And join the family again. We could have time off together, something that I still don't get right now. I have to start booking time off just to take care of myself. I am having more migraines since he started working. I am pretty sure it is because I am so worried about everything getting completed at home, and of course his basic wellbeing. I Don't need him breaking down and losing it again. I don't need to think we are finally getting somewere and then not be. I am so worried about how life is turning out that I don't think I can take much more. But his three days a week isn't enough to say that I can quit either though. It is helping, but it is still not enough. My head hurts so much. I have started chewing my nails and fingers again. And badly. They are bleeding almost everyday. I don't know how to stop. I don't know how not to worry about another nervous break down. I don't know if either of us are prepared for another either.
