wake up, tum still hurts a bit. not to bad. but still not fun. As soon as I get up, Doris says that she doesn't feel good, feels like puking. another reason I might need to stay home, if it is a flu and other are gettin sick, I don't need to spread it. call in sick for the rest of the week. get my ultra sound booked for early tomorrow morning. call the doc for the note, can't get in today or tomorrow. crap. monday? at 12:10. that will have to do. Take it. Decide that I should get up. James didn't get up when his alarm went off at 9, but I didn't think he would have. its just about 10 now. I pull out my computer and start to blog and check facebook. I ask for the remote. Turn on the tv. figure if we watch something it will help him wakeup. that routine thing again.
I notice that he is playing with the dog a lot. I wonder if it is cause the dog is always happy to be with him, never says anything, so he never says anything bad or wrong or judging, can I take a lesson from that? but how do you fix something if you never mention it? and when I do mention it and hides from it so that it never gets fixed, what then? will that continue to happen?
He's playing mario cart with Doris, and they sound like they are having a blast. I hope that he can capture that. Cause those are the things he needs to remember are there, and that is how good life can be.
he moved the suround sound system upstairs. That was one chore that never got done before. He fixed Doris' drawer's, that was needed for almost 6 months. Oh i hope this continues. I hope he can find pleasure in fixing things, and in being a dad and a husband again. I hope those are hopes he wants.
He asked about the frying pan yesterday. At supper time in front of the kids, i said talk later. and it never did come up. Today, while at the stove, he noticed the dents in the stove. he asked about the frying pan again, saying that I never did explain, I said 'you never asked again lastnight, and I forgot' 'now is later' 'later' 'when later' 'not in front of the kids' 'does it have anything to do with the these?' he puts his finger on the dents. 'yep' 'did you bend it?" "yep' I go over and move spice and show him the chipped tile in the back splash 'and that' 'wow' 'and it might have been worse, but after a couple times I was only holding the handle' he's kinda shocked I think 'and part of the handle was over by the water cooler' 'so that's what this is from?" he picks up a piece of metal. 'maybe, I thought that was from something else, but could be' 'you couldn't have used the crappy frying pan?" 'it wasn't the one that I had in my hands at the time' he kinda laughs. Not much that we can do right? I kinda knew that it would take for him to want to use the frying pan before he would notice, but at least he was able to put it together. he is smart and thinking clearly, and that is a good thing. I do believe that he was right to go without the meds. He has shown some happiness that he has not shown in almost a year I know some of that is the fact that we are doing better, touching, loving, holding and talking. I think talking is the best part of it all, even if it is the hardest. Even though the sex is great, i think it has to do with the fact that we are bonded and to keep that we need to talking and the holding and the loving. And then maybe we can fix everything else.
No comments:
Post a Comment