Still weird

It is still hard to imagine another baby girl.  Im always scared something us going to happen and it wont come true.  I havent and wont tell James, he would try and take it on instead of just listening :(. Thats one of his down falls.  He cant seem to just listen, he always tries to solve it and then he will stress over trying to solve someone elses problem.  And something like my stupid worry, he cant solve.  I just have to live through this and see if nothing happens or if something does.  I will still have to live through it.  I remember when Irene was born, i had a similar worry.  I didnt bond with her for the first month because I had the worst feeling that she was not going to be here for long.  That she was going to die.  I'm not physic or anything but, i have only ever envisioned my life with two girls.  So hows does three fit in?  Im so worried that it will still be two girls :(. Amd not that i'm having a boy, but that something bad will happen and we will lose one of my children.  How does a person get over that?  Sigh... A few more months and maybe once baby gets here I will be able to get over it.  Love conquerors all right?