38 weeks

This still seems crazy. 38 weeks pregnant. We are going to have a baby.  A real live baby.... I feel her move around and cant believe it still.  She moves so much.  Nothing like my other two.  And James seem ok too.  Or he is holding it in really well lol.  He doesnt seem overly excited like our oldest, squeeling and jumping up and down.  But he doesnt seem depressed either.  Currently the home inspection business isnt doing so good, slow time and he never reay got his name out as much as he wanted either.  He manahed to get lucky and get a part time job here in our little town that was very flexible and understanding.  So if he gets an inspection he can go to it.  Even days like today when Irene had to go to the dermatologist for the virus she has, James aas able to take the whole day off. He has been doing really really good for the most part.  He knows he has to deal with things and the pot helps too.  That might have been the saviour all along.  It has allowed him to calm down when needed and think rationally though some of the panic and stress.  Dont get us wrong, if he can avoid things like the mall, he will.  But he doesnt worry about going as much if he has to go.  Which leads to a better time there, because he isnt as worried about it to start with!  And he knows he can step out side and smoke if it ever came down to it too.  But he has had a lot more good and even decent days versus bad days for sure.  I think he is excited about the baby and that could be why he is having more good days than bad days too.  

It is exciting of course, a new life, kinda a new start for us too.  I think it will being us all together even closer as a family.  And i think we are pretty close as it is.  We talk and joke about many things.  Doris is 13 now and wants to date or at least is seeing boys that way.  We are comfortable enough to joke with her about sex and although it currently embarrases the crap out of her, she knows that we dont ever want her to think she cant come and talk to us about anything.  Ever.  So i think this baby will solidify our family unit as one.  And i cant wait for that.  Not that you can really feel any gaps, but split families often have them and i think there are a few, but very very small, and this will seal them for us.  That makes me really happy and i can only hope that it will help James as well!  If he feels more like a real father and not a step dad he may feel more comfortable and understanding too.  Bring on the happiness my little one :):)